I was talking to a friend of mine who is finishing a year long transition out of an unhealthy relationship into a new relationship.
I remember what is was like going from an unhealthy relationship to a healthy relationship. There are some fundamental changes that can serve as both hurdles and growth points.
I learned that we can become so habituated to drama, distress and unease that when we transition to a healthy eco system in relationship we can actually crave what we knew before. So much so that when a new world of peace, non argumentative behavior,and and non violent communication is offered we aren’t right away comfortable with it. We can actually resist against it, even fight against the healthy relationship with or without meaning to self-sabotage.
When fighting, raising voices, proving yourself right becomes the way with repetition throughout years then it takes a bit of time and constant tracking of our mindfulness to set new neuro pathways in our brains to inform and produce different behavior.
Mindfulness is key.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is very helpful.
And most of all a desire to create a new way based in love and not fear will make you stronger. I know you have that desire. I am here to support you in your evolution which at times can seem like an internal (r)evolution. Trust in your ability to grow your compassion and love more.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) aims to find a way for all present to get what really matters to them without the use of guilt, humiliation, shame, blame, coercion, or threats. It is useful for resolving conflicts, connecting with others, and living in a way that is conscious, present, and attuned to the genuine, living needs of yourself and others.
NVC includes a simple method for clear, empathic communication, consisting of four steps: