From 17 Years Old to Now What I Believe(d)

What I Believe(d)

To be honest it’s still been some of both, past tense and present tense. But I’m ready to be done with the pain once and for all and only exhale love…
– I had to keep his secret of what he did to me
– It was my fault
– I could never be unbroken
– I had less value
– I will always be afraid
– I had to try harder
– If I got pregnant from this attack my life would be ruined
– I was damaged
– I’d bring shame to my family
– No one would marry me now if they knew
– Holding this lie was easier than telling the truth
– No one would believe me
– I had to protect everyone (even him)
– People would feel sorry for me
– He felt no guilt for his actions against my will
– My family couldn’t handle the pain of my pain
– No one would love me if they knew
– I’d find the right time to tell people about what happened.
(I never found the “right time” to tell anyone until yesterday for the first time. I was 17 years old, he was a safe friend or so I thought. I was so innocent. I’ve made the decision to share more details publicly but not here, on my web site.)
#idonttalkaboutit evolved to telling my truth about #metoo

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