My Suitcase for Italy

Yesterday I had to pack my suitcase for #Italy.

This now sits in my 5×5 storage unit in #california until I travel early June to Naples, then Amalfi and Tuscany to lead my final 2 #yogaretreats for Alchemy Tours.
My cherry blossom suitcase is full of dreams.
I’ve mindfully chosen clothing for the beautiful stories and moments I’ll gather living in #italia June and July, including my birthday 15 July.
You’ll find me in #Florence living from the hopes I chanted and heartfully sung into this one #bluejean bag, post retreats 30 June.
I can’t help but wonder about what and who will come into my life from today to then. 🌻 Certainly I’ll make new discoveries about myself by the time I’m reunited with my suitcase because…
I am Still Growing. 💕
Truth is, this isn’t “exactly” the life I wanted but it is a life I LOVE.
My chosen life would be as a Loving wife and mother to a house full of children. I’d be traveling with my family and there would be way more suitcases along with mine. 😊
Ever so grateful for the mystery of life. 🙏
Aho. Blessed be.

My Car has a Story

Today was my first day driving my car in a couple of years. The 2016 plates would confirm this.
⭐️ My car has a story. ⭐️
By the time I got the raw courage to file for divorce I had already been courageous more than once, including recovery from a hit and run at age 25 years old, losing my beloved Father on February 9, 1995 and one other time I don’t yet speak of.
What I remember was after working for years to get my ex-husband the professional help he needed to deal with his anger issues I finally gave up on my marriage. I had to save myself because I couldn’t take any more abuse. At that point he suddenly woke up a bit and realized I was really leaving. So one night he convinced me he had a surprise for me he wanted to show me. We ended up at a car dealer where he “gave me” this car you see here, my Volkswagen Tourag. He said he thought I deserved it for how hard I worked. For a moment I believed him, “again.”
It later came out in the MSA (Marital Settlement Agreement) that he bought my car for me with MY MONEY from my Yoga studio Total Body Yoga checkbook. I want you to know he never at any point had anything to do with my studio. He was so disinterested he never even took a single calss. He then asked for the “value” of the new car to be in my column showing up as one of my assets. He received the value of it as part of the non settlement.
After I left for Seattle the car stayed at my Mom’s home for a year until I could afford the $989 to ship it to Seattle from Chicago. You see after 2 1/2 years of divorce proceedings and tens of thousands of dollars in my attorney’s fees I fired my attorney and hired a female attorney instead and said, “get me out, do whatever it takes.” My therapist had suggested this “scorched earth method.” It is a viable option to LET IT ALL GO.
And so I did.
Well, that’s how I have this car.
You tell me, what does it represent? I could have left it in Seattle, sold it for cash money. But somehow I felt like it had a bigger meaning. If I had to describe that in one word I would say “FREEDOM.”
It demonstrates what I was willing to do to save myself, to be my own prince charming and say yes to the Hero’s Journey ala Joseph Campbell.
After I had to get out of Seattle to heal my heart, I left the country for most of the last 3 years living as an official Expat. I didn’t need my car and quite frankly since I didn’t feel called to move anywhere in particular so I didn’t know where to ship it to either. So it stayed in Seattle, first on the street in front of my home that sold January 6, 2017 and then at my friend Kim’s home (with forever gratitude).
Driving around today we were awkward together. I touched the brakes too hard, I didn’t know how to turn on the wipers front or back. It was so odd to be in this living time machine with fewer than 30,000 lifetime miles.
It’s parked for the night resting now, likely confused as to how it got from Chicago to Seattle to California but that’s ok. I’m not sure of all the details of how I got here either, but certainly I’m going to make the most of it!

Washing Away the Pain

I ask myself, how did I get here? 

I’m still trying to wash away the pain.
I have been dedicated to healing my heart for 3 years, traveling around the world to cleanse my spirit. I call in my guides and guardians to help me. I sit still and meditate into the pain to transmute it.

Some days it works better than others. I’m still on the path doing the best I can breath by breath. I know things are changing because I’m coming back out into the world and allowing myself to be seen. I am born again happy.

Here are photos of the most recent water purification ceremony I did in Bali trying to flush it out once and for all. Bali Ma, Mother Bali has saved my life and I am so grateful.

I go back to Bali March 27 to feel how far I’ve come.

3 Year Anniversary of Realizing my Life was a Lie

Today is a 3 year anniversary for me. It is the day that my life completely changed and I realized that everything I thought was true was a lie.

I have never spoken and written about this day publicly before, but in an effort to stop over concealing this “box of darkness” I unwantedly received I decided to share something now.

It was March 14th, the day before his birthday, and I received his email. “This isn’t the end, but rather a different chapter.”

I want this to be clear. It’s not about relationships ending, of course they do. That’s the cycle of life. Everything has an expiration date, even Us. Our lives are impermanent.

I have no resistance to this.

It is not the problem.

The challenge has been how the expiration was revealed. To receive an email from my beloved partner after so many years together, while he was in Paris ready to celebrate his birthday with the other woman, was impersonal and insensitive to say the least.

Shock and sadness ensued.
I had NO idea.
I woke up happy and laughed and made him laugh within the first 60 seconds of each day. I went to sleep well kissed and smiling.

We had a beautiful life.

The unraveling of what was concealed took a few months. The “Other Woman” who he cheated on me with for over a year is lovely from what I know. I even tried to friend her on Facebook “Before” I knew she was replacing me.

There I said it, I was cheated on (twice by him). I have carried that shame for 3 years. I couldn’t believe that what I thought was true was untrue. I felt not just betrayed but like an idiot for believing lies for so long.

I had given up everything to live together in Seattle. I sold my yoga studio, and left my friends and Family. I risked it all for love.

Maybe unconsciously I saw the signs, his changing his passwords on his computer, never leaving his phone lying around, even taking it into the bathroom with him at home. Unreturned calls at odd hours, strange credit card charges.

I had PURE TRUST and unconditional love.

The sadness was so much about the way this was handled without grace after so many years together. The urgency to send me an email so he could be with her more openly in Paris March 15, 2015 celebrating his birthday. And there was the betrayal I felt from trusting those of his friends and co-workers that knew about her and lied for him, while still coming to our home to eat, drink and be merry.

On this day I lost trust in humans.

I lost trust in myself for having let this happen.

And every single day since then, for 3 years, I have been working to rebuild trust. I’ve done the self-work, I’ve met with healers, shamans, cut the chords, healed the energy vibration, talked to therapist, journaled, meditated, cried, chanted, sold my house and went to live on the other side of the world to heal.

One of the hardest parts has been that I felt like I would be judged if you knew someone as smart and spiritual as I am could be so fooled. I thought you would lose respect for me. I was afraid. I didn’t know who or how to trust so I struggled with this by myself. It was the loneliest time of my life.

His betrayal broke me.

I had anxiety attacks. I couldn’t breathe. I got very sick.

My body started shutting down. I got so ill I ended up in the hospital. I felt grey.

I had to stop teaching.

And for months His long time concealing kept being revealed. I didn’t want to know more.

But life goes on, I don’t know how I got up but I did.
I give all credit to our Creator. My faith in Spirit saved me.
I was born again happy.

Within 11 months they gave birth to their first baby and were married. And in the end, love is love.

It chooses us.

All I hope for her is that she can trust him.

I continue my own journey of learning how to trust again. I am to this day still Healing.

I stay soft and keep expanding.

And I never ever stop believing in true love.


Revealing more than Concealing to Rebuild Trust

In Emily Perry’s class today we were invoking Shiva, stoking the remembrance of concealing and revealing. I’ve been in deep contemplation about the issue of trust and my biggest wounding in this area. Asking myself how has this impacted my own concealing and revealing.

Recently in conscious relationship I came to realize how much of my own work requires I go deeper in revealing, otherwise emotional intimacy is impacted. It’s just not that simple because I don’t trust others very easily to hold space for my vulnerability, pain, or fear.

I hold back because I’ve so dearly struggled with feeling safe (and with good reason after an abusive marriage). My PTSD can easily get triggered if I feel like there is any potential worry for mistrust. The resistance to revealing also comes as a result of betrayals from abandonment when I’ve needed help the most, like when I was recovering from TBI.

The paradox is that I hold space easily. There is nothing you can’t say to me that I won’t hold and honor with total acceptance and unconditional love.

I just find it difficult to believe that someone will do that for me.

I am deeply grateful for the blessing of this relationship and how it shifts my consciousness to another new level of awareness. And with time, little by little I am rebuilding trust.

This is my most important transformation.

Throat Chakra Affirmations for Healing

A healthy throat chakra is the bridge between our minds and our hearts.
The 5th chakra is the one in between connected the 4th chakra (heart) and 6th chakra (mind).
Keeping it strong and in balance is paramount for a happy life.

Try practicing those affirmations on this list that resonate with you the most.

1. Love opens the door for me to feel whole and complete.
2. Everything I do is an expression of love.
3. It is now safe for me to express my feelings.
4. I am confident in the healing power of love to open my throat for greater self-expression.
5. I easily and gracefully express my deepest feelings and emotions.
6. It is now right for me to express the best of who I am now.
7. I release the fear and doubts which block the way to my creative expression.
8. My throat chakra is balanced between my head and my heart.
9. I lovingly speak my truth and allow my Higher Self to speak through me.
10. I speak the sweet whispers of the heart.
11. I speak my truth with clarity and courage.
12. My throat is clear and open, my voice utters truthful words.
13. I willingly release all fears and negativity that block me from speaking my truth.
14. I use my words to create beauty in this world.
15. I hear and speak the truth.
16. I express myself with clear intent.
17. Creativity flows in and through me.
18. My voice is necessary.
19. I stand up for and speak the truth.
20. I am able to harness my will power to control addictive influences in my life.
21. I am ready to put my negative habits to one side and openly develop my creativity.
22. I substitute love, joy, and creative expression for old patterns of addiction and abuse.
23. I willingly give up (smoking, alcohol abuse, dope, overeating and unhealthy dieting) to enhance my own creative gifts.
24. I love and trust my creative gifts.
25. I am the messenger.

Feel our Vibe Join our Tribe

How can you tell if you belong to our #alchemyofyoga tribe?
Well, here’s how:
You are receptive to learning.
You are teachable.
You are looking for more than the asana.
You have a deeper intention than the goal of RYT — you wish to learn and embody the practice of yoga.
You have been on the path seeking education, information, self-learning, personal growth.
You agree to apply the Four Agreements: Don’t Make Assumptions; Be Impeccable with your Word; Don’t take Anything Personally, Always. Do Your Best. LEARN MORE HERE.
You benefit from tribe and community.
You are kind and sensitive.
You actively practice acceptance.
If you want to learn more then click on our latest @alchemyofyoga newsletter and find out for yourself why we fully believe Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe.
Details in Alchemy Newsletter about upcoming #yoga teacher trainings:
April 1-22, 2018 #Bali
July 28-Aug 18, 2018 #CostaRica
Sept 1-22, 2018 Bali
Special pricing in newsletter!

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Please Don’t Wait

What I want you to know is…

Don’t Wait.

I’ve waited too long for most things.

It’s ok on some levels like where I was a late bloomer.

But I’m talking about waiting until everything was perfect or
waiting for the right time,
waiting for him to show up,
waiting to say I love you,
waiting for him to be ready,
waiting for the right age,
waiting for enough money,
waiting to have a baby,
waiting for a sign,
waiting until I wasn’t so busy,
waiting until I gained confidence or
waiting until I lost five pounds,
waiting until I received approval,
waiting until they said I could,
waiting until there was time,
waiting until my marriage got better,
waiting for my birthday,
waiting until Spring Break,
waiting until Summer,
waiting to move away from snowy Winters,
waiting to travel somewhere I’d never been like Australia or Greece or New Zealand,
waiting until I got that big break,
waiting for the tipping point,
waiting for others to go first,
waiting for the weather,
waiting until I knew enough people,
waiting to take a chance on love,
waiting until I had proof it would all work out,
waiting until I had enough knowledge,
waiting until I knew enough, was accomplished enough, was successful enough, or
waiting until it would be easy.

What are you waiting for?

“Twenty Years From Now You Will Be More Disappointed By The Things You Didn’t Do Than By The Ones You Did Do.” -Mark Twain

What I learned is that time will run out. People don’t really talk much about this anymore it seems. But the reality is that “right timing” is vitally important. We can’t just lead energy we must follow it too, and be awake enough to tell when to choose one over the other. I have run out in certain ways and my hope is that I can save you from doing the same thing.

The biggest regrets in my life relate to waiting. I waited for my marriage to get better. It was incredibly toxic and denied my chances to have a baby for all those years. I waited until I met the right guy to have a family when I could have looked at doing it on my own. I waited to move from snowy winters because I was afraid of disappointing my family. I waited to travel to Australia and New Zealand until last year.

Right now is the time to wake-up and choose how you want to live your life. At any time you have full access to what I call a Passion Passport. There is no lengthy application process or special visa you have to apply for. There is no waiting period.

It’s yours right now. 

Let’s get started. 

You can come along with me for the ride. You can even sit next to me in the front seat.

But you have to promise you will get out at the right stop for you to continue your own journey guided by your true north. Admire my life, be inspired by it even, but stay focused on filling your own passport.

Well buckle up, it’s going to be an incredible journey where we will meet amazing people and experience incredible beauty and slay dragons and get lost and get found. Expect tears and laughter to be shared. You’ll be left wondering and delighted and face fears you didn’t know you had.

But you’ll feel more alive than ever because each day is sparked with joy. Don’t wait.

Let my life be both a warning and an example.

Start before you’re ready, right here, right now.

And today, please tell the people you care about you LOVE them. For this we must never ever wait.

Love yourself, love your day, love your life,
Catalina Silvia Mordini 
Writer, Happiness Coach, Mindfulness Teacher, Love Alchemist 

The Four Agreements for Happiness

“The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves”
Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz serves as a foundational philosophy for creating authenticity, love, and happiness in your life as you step into the seat of awareness. In practice, these seemingly simple agreements have far-reaching implications that serve as a lens to our thought patterns & behavioral processes as you study the self. In essence, the agreements help you “break those agreements that come from fear & deplete our lives” while engaging in the active process of lifelong transformation. Not coincidentally, these principles align beautifully with yoga philosophy as a complementary practice founded in self-love.

The Four Agreements CHANGED MY LIFE.  It is a quick yet deeply insightful read that you are bound to revisit — each time revealing increased clarity as you move through the waves of life. The book is on the required reading list for my alchemy of yoga teacher training program because I believe in it so much. The Four Agreements can be purchased new or used for under $10 on, otherwise check your library!

Are you ready for Adventure in Costa Rica

Are you ready…
of your life?
Yoga inspires us to aspire to our greatness!
Come live Pura Vida with us. During our 22-days dedicated to the alchemy of yoga we will explore the transformative power of lovingkindness and allow ourselves to be “seen.” As Chief Love Alchemists Emily Perry and I will hold space for your personal evolution, healing and joy.
#CostaRica Yoga Teacher Training July 28-Aug 18, 2018!
Early Birds Save $300 OFF
Questions? DM me, call, text, email 🙂 1-206-886-5743
Hosted by Bodhi Tree Yoga Resort
#yoga #teachertraining #mysteryschool #healing #transformation#puravida #travel #adventure #yogaeverywhere #yogaeveryday#loveyourself #loveyourlife