Say goodbye to anxiety and welcome the promise of a happier, healthier you.

the blog

Delayed gratification response

Oops I did it again!
I owned this fancy dress for 4 years and was “saving it” until either the occasion felt good enough or I felt like I was good enough to wear it.
It looked like the garden paintings by Claude Monet.
Here’s what I’ve learned about this “delayed gratification” response… colonized mindset teaches us this is always a Good Thing.
Colonizers consider it a skill along the lines of self-control, willpower, impulse control which are involved in self-regulation.
For me as immigrant as part of my intersectional identities it’s a trauma response.
Western psychology tells us our primary purpose for seeking rewards is pleasure. Pleasure motivates humans.
Prolonged stress endurance constructs our perception of reward and reward value. As a result I can see when I am under long time stress I hold back rewards.
But what I know is that this construct can be unlearned.
Conditions on rewards are not a recipe for happiness when it’s nonstop.
I deserve to wear this dress with no conditions to be met.
This is my 2021 Birthday Dress.

And #FreeBritney

Share this:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Hi love, I’m Silvia!

I’m a specialist in starting over. 

Trauma revealed truths that took me to some faraway places for healing and wisdom. In Bali, South America, New Zealand, Australia, Laos, Hawaii and Malaysia, I soaked it up, took bold actions, and expanded what was possible for me.

Through all of this I learned something profound; the power of resiliency can be taught and even making a 5% change can change the future dramatically.

Now I teach women like you to access the power within you to change your life, celebrate your genius and start over to create any life you dare to dream.